It Begins...

I'm just here to write about my life.  That's right. I'm such a self-centered piece of garbage that I need to talk about myself in public, because I'm sure you all care a great deal about me.  

If the sarcasm hasn't hit you in the forehead right off the bat like a brick swinging on a rope, you're gonna have a tough time here.  'Tis probably best for you to get off the internet now and turn on a Disney movie,  where they cleverly conceal all of their puns and adult humor in many layers to be unraveled.  I don't have time for that crap. 

Truth is, I'm a socially awkward, stupid, stubborn, and clumsy girl, and I don't know how to make friends. It's much easier for me to scream into the void.  I'd talk to a thousand random people I've never met on the internet about real experiences, adventures, and deep subjects before making small talk with one person in real life. Surely I'm not the only person in the world who thinks like this.  

Ten more fun facts about me:

1.  I'm old. Like over 40 old.

2. I have a car problem. More accurately,  a car and Jeep hoarding problem. This means I also have a tool problem.

3. I'm a runner.  My boyfriend thinks fit girls are ugly. I'm constantly ashamed of who I am, but I'm too selfish to change. 

4.  I like to work hard, and will do whatever it takes to "get it done".  I believe most conventional workplace rules and regulations were made by people who have never worked a day in their lives, or have, but have never wanted to.  They reek of ignorance and excuses.  

5. I can't cook. Everytime I boil water, I invite Old Faithful into my kitchen.  All meat must be incinerated, or it's not done yet.  Baking cookies, however, is an entirely different story.

6. I'd rather be camping, hiking, getting lost on a dirt road, or going on some other adventure outside than hanging out in clubs or bars.

7. My music choices will probably scare you.

8. I take too many pictures.

9.  I collect and sell rocks and minerals.  Sometimes I make jewelry with them.  If you're tired of reading and just want to look at pretty rocks, go for it.

10.  I had a really hard time coming up with this list.  I have no idea why you'd care about any of those things... but if you like random adventures, cars, rocks and minerals, running, home improvement projects, or laughing at stupid awkward girls.... stick around!